Only If For A Night
by stretch the faunlet
Summary: His heart nearly stopped. That familiar female voice he longed to hear... He had just heard. He wasn't sure if he had gone crazy with grief and was hallucinating, or if there was something more at work. Past Red/Miyuki. One-shot.


**Only If For A Night**

_And I heard your voice as clear as day,_  
><em>And you told me I should concentrate.<em>  
><em>It was all so strange,<em>  
><em>And so surreal,<em>  
><em>That a ghost should be so practical.<em>  
><em>Only if for a night…<em>

_"Only If For A Night", Florence + The Machine_

* * *

><p>When Miyuki died, a part of him died with her.<p>

His dreams, his plans... They too were eaten by that creature that had eaten Miyuki. His plan to ask for her hand in marriage, a risk for any Irken living in a love-resented community, was destroyed, ripped to shreds like fragile paper in the hands of harsh hands. Miyuki was like the fragile paper, and death itself were like the harsh hands, ripping the two apart by drawing a line between them; the line of life and death. He was alive and breathing, while she was not, and Red always felt the need to silently apologize to her for that. His guilt for simply being alive was eating away at him.

In the weeks after Miyuki's death, after her discarded and half-chewed up remains were found somewhat far from the labs where the event had occurred, Red had been numb, and the day had been no exception. Everyday after it was like this, that small ring with the pure laserex diamond from Planet Vort, the rarest and most gorgeous diamond in the Universe, he kept with him, holding it in his hand, out of the box, almost like he was holding a piece of her with him. The day she died he was on his way to surprise her, to propose to her after their secret relationship lasted a year. She was the one, and he wanted her to be his officially.

Every night after, as he numbly and blankly went about his business as the Irken Elite requested by his general to be the next Tallest, along with his friend since smeethood, Purple, he imagined the day she died going differently than it had. He imagined that he had knelt down on one knee and opened the box to her, asking her those four words he never thought he'd ever say:

_'Will you marry me?'_

The fact he would never be able to say those words to her face, for her to hear those words in person, cut him like a knife. It hurt him more than he had ever been hurt. All his plans, gone. The one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with...

Gone.

His heart was a glass, a fine and fragile glass, breakable, but hidden behind a hardened wall that guarded it, and after searching for her that day back at those labs on Planet Vort with no luck, and when chaos erupted everywhere that caused no one to answer him when he asked for Miyuki's whereabouts, a small little service drone bot had came up and told him those three words, _'Miyuki is dead,'_ he felt his glass heart shatter, and his world went spiraling out of control in that moment.

They were having a large ceremony on Irk in the main city where the Palace of Superiors resided at. When she wasn't aboard the Armada capital ship, this Palace was Miyuki's main home. Irkens of all kinds, of all career types, stood in front of the palace holding candles and paying their respects for their fallen and beloved Tallest, leaving behind a story to be told as a legend, as a fairytale with a tragic ending.

He didn't go to that ceremony... He wasn't sure why he hadn't, he simply didn't go. It would pound his squeedly-spooch with a harsh reality that would probably cause him to go insane when it sank in, how it didn't fully sink the day she died up until he walked up to the glass window in a building across the Palace of Superiors and saw the ceremony for himself, and it finally sank in. He had been numb and oblivious to everything after her death, even drowning himself in disbelief, but now it fully sank in:

He was alone.

All alone there, everywhere, and sure he had friends, people who looked up to him and his best friend, but he felt the pang of loneliness that one felt only when they've lost a loved one. His would-have-been fiancé, his could-have-been wife... It was a different type of loneliness, and the disbelief faded away, replaced by a rage and despair.

He screamed out, furious at the Universe, furious with death, with everything, including himself, his fist blindingly went through the air and into the wall behind him. His heart pounding, his throat tight, he swallowed back what he realized was a sob.

He fell the the floor, his head resting against the wall, under the hole he had punched in the wall in a moment of his private torment and agony. None of it mattered anymore... His rage towards Zim, the reason why Miyuki was gone, his rage towards the Universe, his guilt for not having been there to save her... The only thing that mattered was the fact that she would never come back, that death had separated them when he had honestly thought that they'd always be together, yet death had ways to rip apart a form of a heart that the Empire could and would look down upon...

As he sat there alone in the hallway, as the ceremony continued on outside, it grew dark, night approaching as fast as the creature that ate Miyuki had... So quick that she didn't even see it coming until she only had seconds left, seconds that didn't matter, that didn't last long enough for her to react quickly enough. Would that have helped her, if she had noticed? Red figured not; everyone who had been in the area when it all happened, told him the creature was agile in it's speed and ruthless; she had no chance to escape.

He at least hoped her death was quick and painless, that at least death showed mercy...

Something in the air around him changed. He opened his eyes, turning his head from the wall where his head had rested and turned fully, knowledge of a forthcoming arrival feeling overcoming, telling him to turn and look.

Nothing.

He was still alone in the hallway.

His eyes met the window from where he sat, and he could see night arriving in the sky above. He glanced around him again in the hallway, noticing he was alone, but...

He didn't feel alone.

He felt a presence, warm and loving, familiar... But what could it be?

_"Red..."_

He froze. His heart nearly stopped. That familiar female voice he longed to hear... He had just heard. He wasn't sure if he had gone crazy with grief and was hallucinating, or if there was something more at work.

He held his breath, waiting for her to speak again.

_"Red,"_ she repeated after a moment, reliving him immensely.

The voice was right beside him, but when he turned, he still saw no one. But her voice sounded so... Real... Not echoed inside his head, but it sounded like she was beside him, somehow.

"Miyuki..." he responded back, his voice shaking slightly with an overwhelming shock. He felt a touch on his shoulder, light and feather-like, and realized it must have been her hand. "B-but..." he wanted desperately to know for sure what was going on, "...how...?"

Beside him, unseen yet alive in a way in the air he breathed, in the air around him and in the shadows, Miyuki smiled softly, at peace. _"Concentrate, Red..."_ she replied gently, and that was all she said before she disappeared back into the afterlife, leaving him alone once again to think, to recover from his racing heart at the honey-sweet sound of her voice that had been beside him.

He felt her warm presence leave, but now felt oddly at ease, relaxed. Shakily, he stood up off the ground, closing his eyes as he stood there, repeating what she had said.

To concentrate on the fact he was still breathing, concentrate, remember, realize that she was always with him, even if he didn't feel her there. She was always watching him, always there if she had the chance.

He felt the riot inside him calm, the realism overtaking the rage and grief. And he kept the realization with him like the wedding ring in his hand;

At least she was in a better place...

_You're the only light._

And that was all he could at least ask for.

_Only if for a night…_

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Based on another Florence + The Machine song called "Only If For A Night". It fits Red and Miyuki so well! It fits how Red must have felt after Miyuki's passing. Angst, bittersweet and a strange peace were what present themselves in this little one-shot I wrote. Hope you enjoy!**


End file.
